The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
