do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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