So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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