"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize