We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
