yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
