No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
