dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
