she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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