a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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