i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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