I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
