And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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