And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
