Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
