We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
