so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
