No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
