have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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