I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
