There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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