ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
