Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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