what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
