we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
