don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
