I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
