If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The adults are the big ones right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
