Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
