Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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