And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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