Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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