I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
