She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
