awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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