didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
