So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
