Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
