If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
