Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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