I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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