I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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