If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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