Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
