That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize