I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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