Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
