That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
