you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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