I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
