your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
