Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Pooping to opera.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
