One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
