Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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