yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
