I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
