just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
