'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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