Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
