Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
