Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
