matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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