id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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