Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
