eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize