I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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