dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
