Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
