Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
